Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize