Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
