my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
two words...techno handjob
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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