Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
