well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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