Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
