i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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