do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
