its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
