do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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