apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
