I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
