I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
