didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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