He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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