also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
