I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
