i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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