You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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