It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
