Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
