is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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