I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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