It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
