So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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