So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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