the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
