hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
