I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
