i just google imaged poop.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
