To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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