wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
