Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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