Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
