So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
