i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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