i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize