the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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