I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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