I hate all girls vehemently.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
