Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
