i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
