I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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