apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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