"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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