5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
