i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
