I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
