If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
