Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
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