GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
