I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
