I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
