I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
