another moral hangover. fuck.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
