we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
