I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he puts the penis in happiness.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize