It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
