I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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