So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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