So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
