Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
