I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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