After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
