Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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