It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
