I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
