talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
