Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
false alarm. still invincible.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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