I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
