I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
