i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
