It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
