I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
