i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
