ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
