that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
